Mar 28, 2010

BRAIN DEAD!

This post was written by me on 28th March 2010 at 10:30pm. After an irritating day and no friend to talk to (all of them managed to be busy at the same time), I wrote this. 


I feel like doing nothing! Tonight my brain seems to make no sense at all. There have been such times when I was all alone, fuckin' irritated due to some small reason, but tonight seems to be different. My irritation has shot up to such a great level that it has rendered my brain lifeless!

The words of the book I am trying to read seem to be like a dull set of incomprehensible black objects. My ipod looks like a slab of scrap metal and the songs sound like the rambling of that pestering landlady who drops in at your door every now & then asking for unpaid rent. The pages of my scribbling notepad have become 100 times heavier and turning them over is more tiresome than lifting a grossly overweight baby. I am somehow dragging along this slender object in my hand which seems to uniformly squirt some blue liquid onto the page as & when I apply some pressure and take it ahead. My handwriting hasn't looked worse! My laptop stands shut at the edge of my bed on the standby mode, its blue light flickering on & off, looking like a guy winking at me, seeming to call me to open its lid and flirt with its keys. It isn't aware of my mood tonight! The cologne that I have applied on my wrists (which I always do before bed-time) has spread its fragrance all over my body, but I am as indifferent to it as a mother is to her small kid who constantly keeps pestering her to buy the new toy he saw at the departmental store. My cellphone is dancing with exuberance beside me but I seem to have no energy or will to engage my left hand and a ear with it. My family is watching IPL in the hall but the sixes, fours, constant cheers and even my fave team Mumbai Indians winning the match seem to generate no interest in me whatsoever!

So, I'm sure now! My brain is dead tonight; the numbness and it's reason is unfathomable. The best thing now seems to be just hitting the bed and drift away into dreams. I hope my dead brain enlivens once my body has slept!

P.S.: Can you imagine I couldn't sleep as well. I got a call from a friend at close to 11.30pm and kept blabbering for some hours. He managed to uplift my mood and, finally, I managed to watch a movie and sleep off at 2am.. :-)

29 comments:

adreamygal said...

I hope you are fine now ..It sometimes happens , when we are nt aawre of whats going within us and how to bring back us to life ..M glad ur friend helped you at the right time :) So gal , never tell you aint got anyone , coz you always got friends to pour out and blabber to , for thats their main job as a fnd u c ;)Hope a smile lit in ur face now :) Cheers !!

Nethra said...

First of all, the picture is so gross and then nice post. Even I go through kindda same phase whenever I get irritated and bored.

vamsi said...

First of all well written..I could see the disgust in your words..

I donno if this method works for u, but when I am in such a mood I listen to death metal..The heavy rupturing guitars and the voices will slow down the brain's irritation and bring in a strange peace..:)Try it once provide you are tolerant to rock music..If you hate hard rock, then this suggestion doesnt work..:)

vEnKy said...

@nethra:

Some people think goat's brain is yummy . yuck!

@pooja

I too have phases like this. The way you used to express the feeling was very novel. Seems like MI is having a good time CSK arent :(

Something seems to wrong with template. Your sidebar has now moved to the bottom. I think reapplying the template of tinker with width of the sidebar would help

Pooja Menon said...

@ adreamygal .. i really consider myself very blessed to have some awesome frnds.. m cool now.. thanks a lot.. :)

@ Nethra.. I hope the pic wasn't too grotesque.. Thanks :)

@ vamsi.. I have started listening to metal, heavy metal, hard-core rock and death metal too.. I do like it to an extent.. Never knew it helps relieving frustration.. Will for sure try it out.. Thanks :)

@ Venky.. Thanks.. And yeah MI has surprisingly performed well! :)

I don't know what's wrong with my template.. Will try reapplying.. Thanks :)

Ria said...

hmm...thank god u cud sleep finally!!i know sometimes there are days that make u go like grrr...

Hope u r feeling better now.

Pooja Menon said...

@ Ria.. Thanks for your comment.. :) Yeah I am feeling far far better now.. It was just impulsive behavior that made me write this.. :)

ABC XYZ said...

such things happen....all u've gotta do is get a hold ovr urself...things wil gt betr wid tym...keep smiling...:)

Pooja Menon said...

@ ^ thanks :)

romeo said...

Pooja expect nothing. Regret nothing.

As you step fully into the stillness your innate joy will rise to the surface and expand.

Think of this as an exercise at first. Imagine you are literally stepping to the side and watching yourself from a third person point of view. Pooja the first time you catch a glimpse of yourself from this vantage you'll feel a definite shift at the level of mind.

If you're distracted by anxiety over an upcoming appointment or obligation, take this to mean you haven't completely let go. Acknowledge the tension and then gently release it.

Be patient with yourself and understand: there's no reason to get upset, as this practice is not competitive. Have fun and accept your observations.

Keep smiling, I am following your blog, see you on mine.

http://romeo-das.blogspot.com/

Pooja Menon said...

@ romeo.. thank you for the tip. something like this on similar lines was taught by one of my profs once. it really helps. will go through your blog soon. :)

Asha Tampa said...

Wow, I guess you described something in words that every one of us must have experienced at some time or the other. Humor interlaced with exasperation - nice! :P

Great writing style you got there, keep blogging :-)

Oh, and yeah - do check my blog out sometime, too!

Pooja Menon said...

Thanks a lot for dropping by Asha.. Went through your blog as well.. :)

Jidhu Jose said...

Wow ....very good blog...
I will update ur all posts
mine: jidhu.blogspot.com

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impuregod said...

I guess yo brain is good vth creativity even wen its dead... look at the piece of writing yo did wen yo brain was "dead".... there is awesome flow of thoughts capturing every details happenin aroun yo... I hope yo all fine now... remember... sometimes.... shit happens!!!...
yo write good... will be lookin out fo more....

Sorcerer said...

haha..Actually..I liked the way you compared things to things which are totally not so obvious..
made me laugh.
Second time here and...wow!! write up is wonderful

Coffee...can kick start brain

just...giving you a cue.

Pooja Menon said...

@ Jidhu Jose.. Thanks.. Will go through your blog :)

@ free-blog-submit-linkexchange.. thanks :)

Pooja Menon said...

@ impuregod.. thanks a lot man! :)

@ Sorcerer.. thanks a lot! yeah, coffee does help.. but i am a tea-addict.. that helps me more! :)

vEnKy said...

pooja temme how you added the the "people online widget at the bottom help me

Pooja Menon said...

yeah sure.. go to http://whos.amung.us/ .. select how you want your widget to look and position it accordingly.. :)

vEnKy said...

I know till that. I didnt know how to add the widget to the template. Because add wiget option seems to be not taking effect

Pooja Menon said...

First copy that HTML script from the site.. Go to "Add a Gadget".. And paste the script in "Add HTML/JAVAscript" .. That should do it.. Place the gadget at the bottom of all other gadgets.. If you've been doing whatever I said then I think the problem is with blogger.. 'Coz I did get to know that blogger is encountering some problems off lately.. So wait for a couple of days.. :)

vEnKy said...

ok thanks :D

Abhyudaya said...

LOL, it's a horrible feeling, isn't it? Well, you did a good thing that you wrote it down... that way, even your boredom is romanticized. Good for you!

And... thanks for dropping by at my blog. :-) :-)

Pooja Menon said...

thanks.. :).. and u r welcome!.. :)

Vibushan Lakshminarayan said...

Been there.. One of the worst days ever.. Broke some stationary :P

Pooja Menon said...

Hehe.. I see.. Thanks for dropping by. :)

prasadk said...

WHen I feel drained or got bored I call someone or play ..Otherwise last option is log on to some social networking site . You feel much better. :)