Mar 28, 2010
I feel like doing nothing! Tonight my brain seems to make no sense at all. There have been such times when I was all alone, fuckin' irritated due to some small reason, but tonight seems to be different. My irritation has shot up to such a great level that it has rendered my brain lifeless!
The words of the book I am trying to read seem to be like a dull set of incomprehensible black objects. My ipod looks like a slab of scrap metal and the songs sound like the rambling of that pestering landlady who drops in at your door every now & then asking for unpaid rent. The pages of my scribbling notepad have become 100 times heavier and turning them over is more tiresome than lifting a grossly overweight baby. I am somehow dragging along this slender object in my hand which seems to uniformly squirt some blue liquid onto the page as & when I apply some pressure and take it ahead. My handwriting hasn't looked worse! My laptop stands shut at the edge of my bed on the standby mode, its blue light flickering on & off, looking like a guy winking at me, seeming to call me to open its lid and flirt with its keys. It isn't aware of my mood tonight! The cologne that I have applied on my wrists (which I always do before bed-time) has spread its fragrance all over my body, but I am as indifferent to it as a mother is to her small kid who constantly keeps pestering her to buy the new toy he saw at the departmental store. My cellphone is dancing with exuberance beside me but I seem to have no energy or will to engage my left hand and a ear with it. My family is watching IPL in the hall but the sixes, fours, constant cheers and even my fave team Mumbai Indians winning the match seem to generate no interest in me whatsoever!
So, I'm sure now! My brain is dead tonight; the numbness and it's reason is unfathomable. The best thing now seems to be just hitting the bed and drift away into dreams. I hope my dead brain enlivens once my body has slept!
P.S.: Can you imagine I couldn't sleep as well. I got a call from a friend at close to 11.30pm and kept blabbering for some hours. He managed to uplift my mood and, finally, I managed to watch a movie and sleep off at 2am.. :-)