Jan 21, 2010

The Dark Journey


55 Fiction. This concept had really amazed me when I first heard of it. For starters, 55 Fiction is a concept where a story has to be conveyed in less than 55 words. I always thought I'll go through a couple of such stories first and then come up with my own. But I never got a suitable topic for writing one, given the word limit. Finally when I came up with a topic, it didn't even take me 2 minutes to convert my thoughts into words. Here's my first in the world of 55 Fiction. Enjoy.. 

The Dark Journey
He crouched within the dark space wondering when he'll get fresh air. The air was closing upon him to throw him out. He felt suffocated but relieved in anticipation that his dark journey would now end. Finally, he was forced out and he let out a wail as he was patted on his bottom.

17 comments:

Ketan - www.ketansnadar.com said...

Wow...

Nice way to explain birth...

Amazing work...

vamsi said...

I actually thought it was about death..seein ketan's comment I ve realized it is about birth..:P anyways its nice..short and sweet..:)

Nethra said...

Nice one. I didn't get it by reading it once. :)

MADHU RAO | (INDImag.COM) said...

Meandered in from the net

I usually do not like 55F but this was nice.

You write well -- just when you had people thinking of the grim reaper you did a volte face and usher a new life -- quite the opposite, a good anti-climax :-)

Now that my comment is getting bigger than the post, I ought to stop !

vikky said...

Nice style of writing, keeping the readers interested all through the 54 words :)

Vinayak said...

gr8 post
this blog rocks

jay said...

good one pooja....superb style of wrting

adreamygal said...

oh dast really very good one :) until the last line , i too thoguht it was death , but you have described the birth of a new life , which gives so much life to this fiction ! wonderfully written gal !

Sriram Agrawal said...

Whoa... I came across dis concept for the first time and I loved it... there is a kind of subtleness in your flow and its worth emulating !

Pooja Menon said...

@ all.. thanks a lot everyone :) :) :)

Suree said...

wow.. excellent...
awesome usage of words to describe the most important part of life in just 55 words..

Adway Rajhans said...

good blog.
good work. You may try reading 'LIKE THE FLOWING RIVER' by Paulo. You will like it.

I have started my blog recently and still its under process.
http://adwayrajhans.blogspot.com/

Pooja Menon said...

@ Suree.. Thanks a lot! Yeah 55 words was really too less to describe that feeling. . :)

@ Adway.. Thanks for dropping by.. will check your blog.. :)

ABC XYZ said...

D most bful piece of wrk on dis blog...churn out more of 55F...u hav d knack..keep it flowin...

Pooja Menon said...

@ ^ thanks. that means a lot to me :)

Sourav C. Pandey said...

Brilliant! I read that 5 times!
To describe birth in just those few words, it was amazing! This is probably the best 55 I am reading! The words, the setting and the tone.. it was all perfect!

Beautiful! :)

Pooja Menon said...

@Sourav Thanks a ton! :) The compliment meant a lot! :)